i realized..

this entry was inspired by maria elena's entry entitled : tentang hijab..

true story, yup it happens..ece, mcm suspen gile kan..haha..ok serious..this entry is a story about things i should not do..well early this year, (rasenye la) i was amazed by so many beautiful hijabers..like yuna, hana tajima, aishah amin, shea, maria elena and so many to be list..they are all gorgeous in their own way..agree? YES..(adore mereka)

i want to be like them, to dress like them, and to look pretty like them..i love fashion and i always do..i dream to be a model..yes i do..but since that, i became so obsess about fashion and modelling..like what kak maria had said in her blog, mcm2 hijab contest ade dlm facebook..too many..semua org cantik2 yg join..

and i don't know how, i fall into one of it..it was a model search contest..i went for the photoshoot..and surprisingly i lied to my mum saying i'm meeting some friends..ouh, damn stupid gile..

i thought it was going to be a very short and simple get to know and fitting session, and yet it turn to be some sorts of betul2 punye photoshoot..siap kene make up and ade professional photographer..itula terlampau ikutkn hati,huhu..katenye dah nak habis..tp bile pkl 7 pun xhbs lg..mule la resah..yup mmg resah..YA ALLAH, what have i done..i cried there..dpn semua org yg ade..dah xkire dah malu ke ape..but i just cried..tp i xsalah kn mereka 100%..it was totally my fault..lemah nya iman aku..astagfirullah hal azim..when i got home, mama dah risau sgt2..not only mama, semua org pun risau..huhu..that was my biggest mistake..

i pray to GOD to forgive me..since then i realized, i never going to let myself go astray..far away from GOD..
insya Allah..

p/s:
nak berfashion and modelling, xsalah.. asalkan berpada-pada.. igt tanggungjwab kt sbg muslimah sebenar..
(note to myself)

lepas nih, nk jd model, gune camera sendiri je sudah.. 
kan anas kan?? hehehe..

*forever alone*